Day 37: July 11, 2011

1 Nephi Chapter 12

Verse 11

I love the visual image that I can see in this verse. Nephi sees three generations of his people who are righteous. He says that their garments are white, like the saviors. They are white because of the blood of the savior. I want my garments to be as white as the Savior. He has already bled for me. He already atoned for my sins. I need to make sure that I am not taking the atonement for granted in my life. This might be a tangent from what the verse says but I am feeling led by the spirit right now to write some of the things that I am feeling down. I have been raised by great parents and taught the gospel by them and wonderful church leaders and teachers. I have studied the scriptures and have gained a testimony of their truth. I served a mission teaching my brothers and sisters of the joy and blessings that come from the atonement. I am at a point in my life where I am forgetting those things and those blessings. I sometimes am too casual in my prayers with my father in heaven. I sometimes read the scriptures just to get through them rather than studying them in order to be strengthened and edified. I sometimes do things that I know I shouldn’t do, or I don’t do things that I know I should do. While I am not a horrible sinner, I am a sinner. I make mistakes daily and I am not turning to the Lord enough to trust in him. As part of some additional scripture study today I was reading the parable of the ten virgins. Something hit me today as I was reading. The foolish virgins were not bad people. They were not out committing horrible sins. They had their lamps. They knew they needed the lamps and they wanted to go to the wedding just like the wise virgins. They just forgot the oil. They forgot that essential element to making their lamps shine. What a powerful thought. I desire to attend that wedding, to be in my Saviors presence. I know that I need my lamp so that I can see where I am going. I carry it with me because I know I need it. But I keep forgetting the oil. I keep forgetting that there is more than just desiring. I need to put the oil in my lamp. I do not want to be left out and have savior now know who I am. That would be the most tragic moment ever and I cannot allow that to happen. I need to start RIGHT now to make some changes in my life. I can’t wait any longer. I can’t keep walking on the edge. I need to get as far from the edge as I can so that I can keep out of Satan’s grasp. I AM A DAUGHTER OF GOD! I am a princess who can become a queen. I have so much potential and so much divine worth. My Father in Heaven loves me. He loves me so much. I do not want to disappoint him. I don’t want to make him sad. I know what needs to be done and I just need to do it. I am ready to let go of those things that are keeping me from filling my lamp with oil. I am ready for my garments to be as white as my saviors. I am ready!

Like I said I realize that was a stretch as to what I could learn from this verse but I honestly feel like the Lord was inspiring me with what to write. Before I started studying my scriptures tonight I asked that something for Nephi’s vision would be applicable to me and touch my heart. The spirit used this verse to get me thinking and helping me realize that I can have my garments made white in his blood. I am so grateful for this inspiration tonight. Oh how grateful I am know that my Heavenly Father hears my prayers. Sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I don’t feel like I am worth him hearing my prayers. How wrong of me to think this way. How wrong of me to deny myself his love. HE does love me and he just proved that to me again right now. No matter what mistakes I make he still loves me. He wants me to return to his presence and he continues to give me opportunities to repent and he never gives up on me even when I give up on myself sometimes. My testimony of his love grew tonight. I am worth so much more then I give myself credit for. Thank you Heavenly Father.